As a mom and a teacher, I know a little bit about children. Do I know everything? No! Am I a perfect mom? No, there is no such thing. My children come first to my husband and myself. Even though they come first to us, we still make mistakes, we are only human. We try our best to make sure that they are happy and healthy.
Children need to have stability in every aspect of their lives, in their home and school, with their parents and babysitter, etc.
My children still have their parents happily married. My husband and I are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary in December. We were 20 years old when we got married, and we weren't pregnant, and we didn't have a baby. We loved each other and wanted to spend that rest of our lives with each other. If you are not with your child's other parent, that doesn't make you a bad parent. It all depends on how you handle the situation and does the child know they are loved no matter what? You need to effectively co-parent, for the sake of your children. In my own opinion, I believe that children are better off if their parents are still married to each other, and that are happy together. We married that person, or had a baby with that person for a reason. Why wouldn't we try everything in our power to make our marriage and family work? I know that every situation is different, and you can't make the other partner try, but I know people who give up way too easy on their family. I have seen the effects of divorce or broken homes on children, it's not usually a good situation. Children seem to have a better childhood if they grow up with their family intact. I believe that we should make sure we have a strong marriage first, then we take care of our children. If the marriage is strong, the family won't suffer.
In my children's short lives, 6 and 4 years, they have never moved. I am not saying that if you have moved you are a bad parent, but I heard of children not much older then my kids, who don't even know how many different houses, or schools they have been in. That's a big deal. Children need stability. It does affect them. I moved in the middle of 6th grade, to go to a better school system. I understand why my parents moved us no, but as a 12 year old, I wasn't happy about it. I was already shy, and here I was going from elementary to Jr. high in the middle of the school year. I didn't want to leave my friends, and the only school that I had ever known. My move was for the best in the long run. I was moved to a much better, smaller school. I made some great friends, and I met my husband. All moves aren't bad, we just need to make sure that we are moving for the right reasons.
We are very involved in our children's lives. I check my 1st graders backpack and folder every night. I sign or initial where I need too. If I can't help with homework, my husband is right there working with her. She reads to us every night. I go and sit through every cheerleading practice, not because I have too, but because I want too. Our whole family is at her games. I want to be involved. I started going to her school PTO meetings. I didn't go last year, but this year I am going to be more involved. If she has a skating party, or back to school night we are there. If our preschooler has something on the same night, then we split up and one of us goes with one, and the other parent goes with the other child. We make it work, for our children. We go to mom or dad night at preschool. I recently went with my 4 year old on his field trip. I won't be able to go to my 1st graders field trip, because I do work, but I went to both last year. I talk to her about why I won't be there, and I let her know that I would if I could. If you miss a few things here and there, for work or whatever reason, no you are not a bad parent. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying our children need to see us being involved in their lives. They need to know that we care, and that we are interested in what they are interested in.
As parents, are we going to enjoy every activity that our children are involved in? Probably not, but does that give us a right to skip it, no. As our children get older, we do need to let them go, and let them explore different activities on their own, but we still need to be involved for the games, and the big events that really matter. My children are still young enough, that if they have any sort of activity my husband or myself need to be there. Our children need to know that we are always available when they need us, and not matter what we will always love them.
From what I observe with working with different children, in many different schools, majority of bad behavior, is because our child don't have a stable environment to grow up in. They don't think that they are loved or cared for in their own families, if they even have a family. If we choose to bring a child into this world, we need to put their needs first. Our wants come second. If you can't afford your child's basic needs, you don't need your extras. You also, shouldn't be working so much too afford your extras, if you have children at home who needs your time. They will remember being with you, not your too expensive house or car, not that toy you got them, they just want your time.
Like I said in the beginning, I am not perfect, and I make all kinds of mistakes. I do believe that over all I'm a pretty good mom. I would do anything for my children, and I don't just say that on Facebook, I actually do it. I know that every family and situation is different, but I do know that if you are putting your child's needs first, you are being the best parent that you can be, which is all your child can ask from you.
